If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
