i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
