I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
