Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
