yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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