I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
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