Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I lost the right to judge tonight
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
