Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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