I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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