There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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