Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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