is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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