I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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