smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
