My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
