Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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