im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
