dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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