So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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