I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
that is very illegal...i love you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
