the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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