I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
