so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize