oh god the rape fog is back!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
