I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
