He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
