i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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