she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
