i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
operation harelip BJ is a go
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
