Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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