I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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