I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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