you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
