WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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