how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
