i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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