Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
