My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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