Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
