i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
