I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
