im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
