It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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