he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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