i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
