Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
