Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
