can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I touched a dick in church today
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
