I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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