I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
